Archive for May, 2013

AP style update (google edition)

In the future, you are encouraged to refer to the social network sometimes called “Google Plus” or “G+” by its proper name:

The Plusterfuck”

Additionally, the act of partially or completely breaking a formerly useful service in order to coerce people into using G+ when they have no desire to do so is to be referred to as “plusterfuckery.”  Example usage: “Man, they really plusterfucked Google Chat with the new Hangouts feature.” or “I still use Gmail, but I’m kinda worried that they’re going to commit some plusterfuckery to it eventually.”

On a related note, the proper name for the personal heads-up display popularly known as “Google Glass” should henceforth be referred to as “Segway For Your Face.”

cluster theory

Ever been in an aggravating situation that wasn’t quite a clusterfuck?  Behold a helpful taxonomy of clusters, in ascending order:

  1. Clusterwave
  2. Clusterairkiss
  3. Clusterhug
  4. Clusternoserub
  5. Clustercheekkiss
  6. Clusterfrenchkiss
  7. Clustergrope
  8. Clusterfuck