im in ur homepage, terrorizin ur eyez

Some days, I get the best email. All names redacted to protect the slightly guilty and thoroughly confused:

From: (redacted)
To: (me)
Subject: leave me alone!

I don’t know how you got on my start up page. Get off it. Cops can find you if you ever break these laws again.

As I said, get off my computer& do not come back. Terrorist!

That’s final. No more yakitiyak.

Done.

Well, he certainly told me! Wait, what? I’m on his start up page? How very odd. Normally I’d just roundfile something like this, or respond with a hearty ‘fuck off’, but my curiosity is piqued:
From: (me)
To: (redacted)
Subject: Re: leave me alone!

Either you are very confused, or someone is sending out very strange spam with your return address on it. Good luck in either case.

…a little time passes:
From: (redacted)
To: (me)
Subject: Re: …

What I’m getting are tiny red words that, when enlarged, is your page. I am using a blank firefox page for my starting page when I get online. Is there something else I can do or not do so we don’t bump into each other?

Thanks for being far more polite than I was.
He set his starting page to… oh god. Oh lordy. This is almost as good as the time the New Orleans Catholic Dioceses started sending half of their email to “blank@blank.org”, including the passionate secret love letters.
From: (me)
To: (redacted)
Subject: Re: …

Hi (redacted), I have a theory as to what’s going on here:

My personal web page is, in fact, ‘www.blank.org‘. I suspect that you’ve set firefox’s homepage to just ‘blank’, and as a result either firefox or your ISP are “helpfully” taking you to the first google result for ‘blank’, which is in fact my homepage, as you can see here:

http://www.google.com/search?q=blank

What you should try doing is setting your homepage to firefox’s built-in empty page, which is somewhat confusingly named. Under “Preferences -> Main -> Homepage”, fill in:

about:blank

…and then restart firefox and see if you don’t get a proper blank page instead of my web server. :)

Best of luck,

(me)
…a few days pass:
From: (redacted)
To: (me)
Subject: Re: …

hahaha! I am one step ahead of you. that’s just what I did& all is fine.
Best to you& yours.

Victory: terrorism, I guess.

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