California Unter Allen

 
So to review: passing a state budget in California requires a 60% supermajority, but you get to decide who your next-door neighbor can marry (or how he runs his farm, or whether he can sell sex for money) on a straight up-or-down 50-percent-plus-one vote. I have always believed this system to be awe-inspiringly stupid, and today just reconfirms that belief.

I am immediately going to begin gathering signatures for a ballot initiative declaring that Angelina Jolie is not allowed to date Brad Pitt. I believe that the constituency of Californian men and women who deeply believe that Angelina would be really, really into them if only that Pitt guy wasn’t distracting her with his gorgeous eyes and rock-hard abs and stuff will easily hit the magic 50%-plus-one mark.

52% of my fellow Californians are invited to go fuck themselves. It’s a standing invitation, but why not get started now?

And speaking of people who can go fuck themselves: Where in hell was David Geffen on this?! Per sfgate.com’s handy donation-searcher, he tossed $150,000 at the no-on-8 campaign. Which sounds impressive until you remember that girlfriend is worth four and a half billion-with-a-B dollars. With the entire goddamn mormon church pumping millions of dollars a day into this campaign, the richest faggot on the planet couldn’t dig a little deeper than that? Pathetic.

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