the worst hotel room in north america

In March of 2006, my girlfriend and I went to Rochester, NY, to visit some friends who were throwing a party that weekend.

Normally when we visit these friends, we stay at the “Towpath Motel”, which is a perfectly functional and well-maintained road lodge that is conveniently only a few blocks from our friends’ house.

This time, however, the Towpath was sold out, as was the nearest name-brand hotel, so we booked a room at what appeared to be the second-nearest option, another motor lodge called the “Aloha Hotel.”

Ladies and gentlemen: you do not want to stay at the Aloha Hotel in Rochester. I am not exaggerating in the slightest when I say that I have stayed at backpacker hotels in third-world countries that were cleaner, friendlier and better-maintained, not to mention better-smelling.

What follows is a quick tour of the many amenities offered by this fine institution, in the hopes that they will instruct you on the wisdom of making a timely reservation at any other facility, or just bringing a tent and a sleeping bag to the nearest national park, state park, city park or convenient overpass.

Sadly, the photos cannot convey the odor of stale sweat, cigarette smoke and institutional cleaning products, but if you douse a used sweatsock in ammonia and leave it in the corner of the room while you browse, you’ll just about have it.

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sweet mother of shit.

the thing I can't understand is, your photo comments make it sound like you
a) upon entering and uncovering the full extent of the horror, did not immediately turn around and find the nearest motel 6
b) but rather, not only slept there but actually showered your person in the space provided?
A combination of about 10% pragmatism and 90% laziness, really: there really were no other hotel rooms at all anywhere near the party we were going to, and we were going to be spending 95% of our waking hours somewhere other than the hotel, so we really only needed a place to leave our stuff, sleep and shower. Despite everything else, the sheets and shower were clean (and the hot water reliable), so we sucked it up.

Also, once I realized how hilarious it was, I had to stay and take pictures.