In March of 2006, my girlfriend and I went to Rochester, NY, to visit some friends who were throwing a party that weekend.
Normally when we visit these friends, we stay at the “Towpath Motel”, which is a perfectly functional and well-maintained road lodge that is conveniently only a few blocks from our friends’ house.
This time, however, the Towpath was sold out, as was the nearest name-brand hotel, so we booked a room at what appeared to be the second-nearest option, another motor lodge called the “Aloha Hotel.”
Ladies and gentlemen: you do not want to stay at the Aloha Hotel in Rochester. I am not exaggerating in the slightest when I say that I have stayed at backpacker hotels in third-world countries that were cleaner, friendlier and better-maintained, not to mention better-smelling.
What follows is a quick tour of the many amenities offered by this fine institution, in the hopes that they will instruct you on the wisdom of making a timely reservation at any other facility, or just bringing a tent and a sleeping bag to the nearest national park, state park, city park or convenient overpass.
Sadly, the photos cannot convey the odor of stale sweat, cigarette smoke and institutional cleaning products, but if you douse a used sweatsock in ammonia and leave it in the corner of the room while you browse, you’ll just about have it.