how to fail to charm me

In five simple steps:

  1. List an apartment that appears to be damn near perfect. (2BR, 18th btw Guerrero & Duboce, 3rd floor, wall fixtures, big kitchen, utility room, shared back yard, $2000)
  2. Have an open house at 1pm on saturday
  3. Ask everyone at the open house who wants to apply to stay in front of the apartment until 2pm so you can interview us on the spot
  4. At 2pm, after “interviewing” 3 couples, look at my application and inform me that you won’t consider an application from a couple unless you can meet us both face-to-face at the open house.
  5. Shrug your shoulders at the idea that the partner of someone moving cross-country might still be 3,000 miles away dealing with the moving logistics.


It is a measure of how well the rest of this day had gone (and it had gone very very well indeed) that I only found myself pleasurably considering the idea of spitting on this person’s shoes for a fleeting second.

It it actually normal in this town to have a list of conditions for rental in your head that you don’t bother to put into the advertisement? Am I the only person who thinks that this is a huge waste of everyone’s time, and that it’s maybe a good idea not to waste the time of people who are trying to hand you $24,000 a year?

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