important notice

Please take note: if I make a sweeping, flippant and obviously ridiculous remark poking fun at a large category of people, you should assume that I am talking specifically about you you you you youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu! Because it’s true. I am.

It is also true that I have never met any of the people in said grouping, have a nigh-psychopathic fear and/or loathing of them, and am secretly conspiring to have laws passed against them. And yes, I am saying these horrible, hurtful things because I actually believe that [living in my current location / going to my alma mater(s) / buying my brand of cat food] makes me intrinsically superior to all you other poor slobs in general, and you in particular (see previous para).

I also think your mom dresses you funny and your favorite band plays insipid, derivative crap. This, also, is true.

Thank you for your attention on this most important matter.

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