The Vaguest Prize Ever

Found in my inbox today:

Hey doc_memory!

When you created your Personals profile, you gave us permission to publish your personal photo in any of Spring Street’s partner publications (by checking the “partner print publication” box). Well, congrats! You’ve been selected for consideration and possible publication, so we’ve deposited 5 free credits into your account automatically. Due to the number of different publications affiliated with the Personals and last minute changes to copy before press times, we are unable let you know which publication and when. However, we can tell you there are some hotties on the network you should meet, so go to and
put your complimentary credits to good use!

Thanks and enjoy the credits!
The Spring Street Gang

So, to recap: at some unspecified point in the future, on one of about ten dozen websites, I may…or may not…be a featured Nerve personal ad.

Thanks, I guess?

Now…could they have made the last sentence any more mortifying?

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