True story: the now-former CEO of Sun Microsystems, the day after his company ignominiously succumbed to a buyout by Oracle, announced his inevitable resignation by posting a cute haiku to Twitter:
“Financial crisis / Stalled too many customers / CEO no more.”
For those of us who watched Schwartz preside over the decade-long destruction of what was once the most important technology company in the world, this is a fitting final insult: revisionist, myopic, and self-serving to the bone. Allow me to offer a handful of alternative epitaphs for Schwartz’s tenure, still in senryu format:
once upon a time / this company was money / bye-bye you suckers
golden parachute / drifts over palo alto / kiss your job good-bye
dot-com era cash / could not hold off the penguins / now larry owns us
we made cool shit once / spent a decade jacking off / so long, solaris
if you invested / cash in sun microsystems / you were a sucker
company called sun / build the goddamn internet / now long forgotten
datacenters full / of ultra enterprises / now gathering dust
If you describe yourself as an “independent” voter, please state three ways in which your political beliefs differ strongly from the published platform of both the Democratic and Republican party, at either the state (your state, that is) or national level. (Award yourself a gold star if you can do this without having to look up the platforms in order to do so.)
Stipulation: you must actually use the term “independent” as your
primary political self-designation. For the purposes of this question,
neither libertarian, green, communist, socialist, fascist noranarchist is considered to be a synonym for “independent.”
Extra credit question: are you actually registered as independent/unaffiliated, or are you registered with a party and if so which one and why?
For reasons which I swear to god make perfect sense, I have a sudden need to briefly employ the services of a licensed structural engineer in New York City. If you are this person or know such a person, please drop me a line.
Now that it’s all over but the recriminations, allow me to lead with a recrimination:
Martha Coakley is a despicable human being and was a terrible candidate. (She remains the former now that she is no longer the latter.) Any political party who’s all-over success hinges on elevating a contemptible hack like her to higher office deserves every bit of failure it receives.
It was in 9th grade, reading the second-to-last (I think; years of
substance abuse have served their intended purpose and muddled these
memories a bit, thank fuck) Space Tyrant novel, wherein the main
character finally gets to have space-sex with his brain-damaged
14-year-old adopted daughter (yes, folks, really), when I finally began
to think to myself, “self, this is actually pretty fucked up.”
[Originally posted somewhere in the comments of avclub.com; I was pleased with the paragraph and it’s a little too long for twitter, so it goes here. I’m inaugurating a new tag “commentaria”, for the occasional exercise of this sort of self-promotion.]
Yet more cute baby pictures; this batch off the SLR rather than the years-old point&shoot or the phone camera, so some of them are even “good” in an objective sense.
(Small warning: there’s one hilariously disturbing pair of images in there. I’d say more, but it would spoil the surprise. Don’t worry, it’s not the crowning.)
“At what age is it best to crush a child’s dreams so that they have an easier time stepping in to the status quo?”
You fool. You do not do such things to children. A child is like a
poison missile you aim at the Future. You encourage, fund and resource
their dreams to the fullest extent of your capability, knowing that
your reward will be the pain and misery of generations yet unborn.
Oh, and by the way, if you’re looking for cute baby pictures, there are many:
For reasons which are too annoying to mention at such a moment, all of the pictures I uploaded today were ended up in a locked album, which was less than useful. That’s fixed now. Say hello:
